Amatuer Dramatics

Just back from a very lovely meal in a pub run by a sort of a friend. I like it there, Collie Wobbles and Banana McFly (not their real names) are always invited along and are greeted with a doggie treat and scratches, the food is first class the locals are old bearded types who play dominos in front of the fire, a couple of studenty scruffs, a few smart horsey ladies with their terriers, the local dentist who is fairly young and attractive and a man who used to be a member of the clergy until he was defrocked for fiddling where he shouldn't have. I think he is now a plumber or electrician or something similar. Anyway, back to tonight, with the usual suspects installed. We order our meal, extract Banana McFly's nose from the student's pie, and get back into conversation when, from the next room we hear a wail, some shouting and then da da dee dum dum dum AND! "Feeeeed the wh-er-rlllld!" From some pit of hell a band strikes up and a crock of discordant Geldofs let rip their pleading whine. Jesu Cristi Maria. Never before has such an unnatural clatter of notes been warbled simultaneously. Dominos fell, priest were defrocked, pies, ones fluffy and transcendent collapsed into a thick morass of inky gravy. What in gods name was that?! demands the snappilly dressed dentist, whose misanthropic horror was, under the circumstances, not misplaced. Oh chirrups the waitress, its the local amateur dramatics society, they needed a room for practice. "Dooooo they nooo eets crisss-muhhhsss at aw- wlll!?!" well no they probably don't, but to be fair you deafening a few pub patrons on a Monday night isn't going to change that is it? I suppose thats the joy of insularity and amatuer dramatics though, you really can put all your gut wrenching emotion into your stomach turning performance, firmly believing you are feeding Africa when all you are actually doing is frightening the horses.
PS I hear tickets are on sale from next week!