In a caravan, my dear.....

The one aspect of selling high end doggie products to the public which continues to baffle me is the market/fair/ dog show/horse show circuit. It seem that for many people, often women, much of their annual income comes from trailing around one show after the other all over the country. They cart around their livelihoods in bags and boxes and then set up stall to flog their wares to the unsuspecting public.
No where more so than the more high end shows, awash with Panama hats, pashminas and monogrammed trinkets. There you will meet Lucretia Wanabee Von Snootsen Vlots, soon to be evicted, most devastatingly, from her family home, High Wicker Bottom. Heroically, Lucretia, festooned in silk scarves and almost always planning her next dash for a ciggie, is undeterred and has taken to high end carpet bagging to keep the family from ruin. She travels from Burleigh to Blenheim, The Highland Show to the Chelsea Dog Show, her trusty Volvo spiriting her along. Her husband called Pongo or Jumbo or Hugo (it doesn't matter) cannot be counted to help as he has fallen into a devastating depression since the untimely death of his favourite Springer Spaniel, Wellie.
So, there sits Lucretia, bedraggled and furtively sipping on her glass of wine, though leaping into action the moment a victim approaches. In order to drum up enthusiasm for her (made in Chine) wares she finds it necessary to Italianise all her adjectives so that everything is fabuloso or delicioso. They are in fact neither of these , in any language, which only serves to make the whole scene even more depressing.
The final blow to her self esteem comes when an elderly cohort of ladies passes by, wrapped in Barbours and tartan, one of them may even be her mother in law, and are heard to say:

Good lord... where DO all these sales people live?
In caravans in the woods, Dear.
But they are AWEFULY clever with all these things they make. Wherever did they learn to do it?
In prison, Dear.*

Lucretia crumples into her glass and misses an opportunity to pounce on an approaching group.

*verbatim exchange.